Why Do Mums Enjoy Hurting Dads with Their Children?

Dad, Daughter, Son

Anyone who knows me knows how much I love my children. They’re my world and I love and cherish every moment I have with them, even more since my health anxiety battle which took me to a dark world of endless panic, worry and genuine fear of death and leaving them.

This is something the mother of my children knows very well, and any mother knows, and I think that’s why they use them as weapons sometimes. But it’s just so fundamentally wrong, isn’t it?

I never thought I’d experience this myself. And I hadn’t. Until yesterday.

Poppy’s 4th Birthday

It was Poppy’s 4th birthday yesterday and I had planned with her mother to go and spend the day there to see her open up her presents, sing happy birthday, etc. Just have a nice day.

That’s what we did at Christmas. And it was perfect. I felt more involved and was happy not to miss any part of a time of year I hold so close to my heart. Christmas is all about family, happiness, positivity and exchanging gifts. I love it. I really love that.

But yesterday, for a reason I do not understand, I woke up to find that I had missed out.

Poppy’s mum chose not to communicate with me and when I woke up and told her I’d be around soon and asked if Poppy had opened her presents yet, she said yes. At 8AM. I was so gutted.

Now I realise I am not entitled to that access and being there for that anyway, giving that Poppy’s mum and I split up and live apart, and I wouldn’t be upset about it had she not arranged it with me and allowed me to get excited about it. And then cruelly take it away from me like that.

I tweeted this just after midnight on the day:

Did she see that tweet and think “oh I know, let me remind him who has the power, remind him where his children belong”? I just don’t get it. At least tell me what your issue is, right?

I was really excited. I feel like she did it on purpose to hurt me, and it worked. I was absolutely gutted yesterday. I thought I was going to have a full day of memories from Poppy’s big 4th birthday, and instead I ended up with a couple of hours for no good reason at all.

Poppy’s mum and I have been through a lot together. I had a lot of respect for her, heck I even got her a bath bomb set and some chocolates on Poppy’s birthday so she’d have gifts with Poppy and Marty. To make a day of it. She didn’t even say thank you for those. I don’t know what her issue is with me, but I wish she wouldn’t hurt me with my children as a result. It’s more than evil.

Not even an apology. Total disregard for my feelings. No respect at all.

Anyway, I don’t like being negative and whinging on the internet, but I guess my blog can’t be filled with all good, can it? I feel better having gotten it off my chest. That’s why blogs rock.

Written by Marty Rogers

I'm a blogger and also founder and director of new businesses Lead Peep and Rankable. I love my two beautiful kids, Poppy and Marty, being a Daddy is the best.

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