Anyone who knows me knows how much I love my children. They’re my world and I love and cherish every moment I have with them, even more since my health anxiety battle which took me to a dark world of endless panic, worry and genuine fear of death and leaving them.
This is something the mother of my children knows very well, and any mother knows, and I think that’s why they use them as weapons sometimes. But it’s just so fundamentally wrong, isn’t it?
I never thought I’d experience this myself. And I hadn’t. Until yesterday.
Poppy’s 4th Birthday
It was Poppy’s 4th birthday yesterday and I had planned with her mother to go and spend the day there to see her open up her presents, sing happy birthday, etc. Just have a nice day.
That’s what we did at Christmas. And it was perfect. I felt more involved and was happy not to miss any part of a time of year I hold so close to my heart. Christmas is all about family, happiness, positivity and exchanging gifts. I love it. I really love that.
But yesterday, for a reason I do not understand, I woke up to find that I had missed out.
Poppy’s mum chose not to communicate with me and when I woke up and told her I’d be around soon and asked if Poppy had opened her presents yet, she said yes. At 8AM. I was so gutted.
Now I realise I am not entitled to that access and being there for that anyway, giving that Poppy’s mum and I split up and live apart, and I wouldn’t be upset about it had she not arranged it with me and allowed me to get excited about it. And then cruelly take it away from me like that.
I tweeted this just after midnight on the day:
WHITE RABBITS! Come at me February. Kicking it off with my little girls 4th birthday later. Perfecto! 🙂❤️
— Marty Rogers (@thatmartylad) February 1, 2018
Did she see that tweet and think “oh I know, let me remind him who has the power, remind him where his children belong”? I just don’t get it. At least tell me what your issue is, right?
I was really excited. I feel like she did it on purpose to hurt me, and it worked. I was absolutely gutted yesterday. I thought I was going to have a full day of memories from Poppy’s big 4th birthday, and instead I ended up with a couple of hours for no good reason at all.
Poppy’s mum and I have been through a lot together. I had a lot of respect for her, heck I even got her a bath bomb set and some chocolates on Poppy’s birthday so she’d have gifts with Poppy and Marty. To make a day of it. She didn’t even say thank you for those. I don’t know what her issue is with me, but I wish she wouldn’t hurt me with my children as a result. It’s more than evil.
Not even an apology. Total disregard for my feelings. No respect at all.
Anyway, I don’t like being negative and whinging on the internet, but I guess my blog can’t be filled with all good, can it? I feel better having gotten it off my chest. That’s why blogs rock.