You don’t know what love is until you have kids!
I’m sure you’ve heard that said before, by somebody, somewhere. And before I had my own kids I didn’t really get it and thought it was a load of crap. But these days? I say it too. I get it.
It’s so hard to put into words, but when you become a parent every single fiber of your being is given a real sense of purpose, passion, love, emotion, pride and unravelled fighting spirit that you couldn’t imagine exists before you have kids. And your happiness reaches new heights.
I have more love than I thought possible for my daughter and son, Poppy and Marty.
Everything else is so insignificant. They’re exactly what I always wanted, even back when I was in school, but even then I couldn’t imagine how much having them in my life would change me, and how many emotions it would make me feel every time I saw them or thought about them.
I’ve become an increasing emotional mess since getting over my health anxiety, too.
Nearly everything I see on TV involving kids makes me want to bawl like a baby. Like the little girl in The Greatest Showman doing a ballet performance – it makes me think of Poppy doing that and I instantly know how I’d feel at that moment, so amazingly proud and happy.
And then Wonder where the little boy is bullied at school. Thinking of that happening to Marty breaks my heart, and I know I’d react like a crazy person if it ever did. He’s my baby.
But kids also give you a confidence, resilience and unrelenting desire to fight and succeed in any situation. I used to be terrified of getting sick or something happening to me, but now I’m not because I know I could overcome anything that’s thrown at me because nothing and nobody is stronger than the love I have for my two little people. I fear nothing but losing them.
Poppy and Marty fill me with complete happiness and joy. Every second of every day I spend with them is the most enjoyable time of my life. I love taking them out to new places. New adventures. New memories. New smiles. And capturing it all in photographs to look back at.
I wish they’d stop growing, though. Poppy just turned 4 and is at nursery and Marty just turned 3 and will be starting in September. I love these ages, but I also love seeing them develop.
They’re such happy, polite, kind-hearted and caring little people. I couldn’t be any prouder.
And now I have to share some photos:
Poppy, Marty. My little babies. You’d never remember when you can read this, but I’m so sorry I missed out on real quality time with you for the first couple of years of your lives. Daddy was a mess, but now I am being the best Daddy that I can be and I love all of our quality time together. Especially our cuddles and kisses. I’m so thankful and lucky to have you two in my life.
Daddy loves you both so much. And our little Pixie in the sky, too! 🙂