I went to play Pool tonight, as I do most Sundays. It’s my favourite thing to do.
But tonight I did something that has left me more disappointed and embarrassed with myself than I could have imagined, not that I planned to do what I did. But I’m really gutted.
I’m pretty good at Pool as you’d expect from someone who has played for years, and I also hate doing things badly. If I lose a single game I feel like I’ve lost them all. I’m that type of person. And tonight I just wasn’t playing well at all, and we had a noisy group of annoying drunks on the table next to us who were really irritating me. I don’t drink. I can’t stand being around drinkers.
But anyway after maybe an hour of listening to them and playing badly, I thought I had hit some form and knocked in a few good balls and got perfect position on a straight ball into the corner. It was unmissable. Until I missed it. And then I blacked out and broke the cue in half.
I swung the cue and smashed it against the side of the table and it shattered and split in half. As you can imagine, the drunks reacted like kids do at school when you drop a plate.
I haven’t acted like that in years so I’m really shocked and disappointed with myself.
After some reflection, I realise that it’s not just about getting annoyed and breaking a cue. It wasn’t my cue to break, it was the clubs, which is disrespectful to property that doesn’t belong to me. I offered to pay for it, but I go there a lot so they didn’t mind which was really nice.
But things are different now. I’m a dad, and when you’re a parent you assess your behaviour in a different way. You think of how you’d feel if your kids behaved how you did or do.
If my son or daughter came to me in a few years and tell me they raged in a public place and damaged somebody else’s property I know for a fact that I’d be really upset with them. It’s not an acceptable way to behave. And that’s what bothers me the most. They’d tell me off, haha.
There is a positive to take from this rare episode, however, and that’s the fact that I recognise that what I did isn’t acceptable and feel embarrassed about it. I’ll now learn and grow from it.
Anyone fancy a game of Pool? Hahaha.