Last year the mother of my kids, Nora, and I split up and parted ways in what was a pretty bitter and poisonous ending to our relationship.
We had been together for 6 years and in that time we went through a lot together. Much more than most couples ever will. We went through a horrific stillbirth together with our first little girl, Pixie, and then went on to have Poppy (4) and Marty (3). It was a hell of a ride for us both.
The end of our relationship came at a time when we were both suffering from our own individual issues, health anxiety and depression, whilst trying to hold together a relationship and raise two kids. Hard work.
Not only that, but I am a narcissist and control freak so I’m a nightmare to be in a relationship with. Something I couldn’t see before.
By the end, we couldn’t stand the sight of each other. It was unhealthy.
But today things are very different.
We have both now come to terms with the end of our relationship, all of the bitterness and bad vibes are gone and we’re getting on pretty much as well as we did when we first met, as friends, for our little babies.
We will never be a couple again, but we understand how important it is to co-parent in a positive and healthy way. It’s great for the kids.
Poppy and Marty understand that Mummy and Daddy live in separate houses, but they also love it when we take them out together so they get to create memories with the both of us. Not always, but sometimes.
And they love it when I pop in for a bit when I take them home after ‘Daddy’s day’ on the weekend until they go to bed.
It’s a win-win situation for all of us and the kids love it.
It’s really quite sad that many mother’s and father’s nowadays navigate through their co-parenting years with so much bitterness and hate for one-another. It’s negative energy that doesn’t benefit anybody.
Our kids are our lives. Their happiness, mental well-being and emotional stability should always come before our own thoughts and feelings.
End the co-parenting warfare. Make peace. Be happy.
Is our current style of co-parenting sustainable? You might think it’ll change once either of us ventures into another relationship.
I don’t really know the answer to that, but any future partner of mine will understand from the get-go how we co-parent. Maybe all of us will go out together… Okay, that might be a bit far-fetched hahaha.
Let’s all focus on what matters. Love comes and goes, but we will only have and raise our children once so let’s do it right. You won’t get another shot at it. Stop being bitter, stop hating, stop badmouthing one-another and never, ever use your children as weapons under any circumstances.
Get on, make memories, be happy and enjoy life.